My teenager is always playing computer games. He barely interacts with the family and gets cross, edgy and despondent when we stop him playing. Is he addicted and what can we do about it?

Gaming can be a big part of life nowadays, especially for young people, and it's usually not all bad. They might be developing skills, learning that practice is essential, and connecting with friends. But it’s not uncommon to worry that your child or teen is gaming excessively, and that it’s impacting on things like sleep, education, or relationships.

Being a teen can be a very difficult and stressful time. It’s understandable that teens could become focused on any activity that provides them with meaning, identity, pleasure, friends, social status, and something to do that’s their own with a sense of control over what’s happening. It’s worth reflecting on whether an apparent obsession with gaming would be as concerning if it was dedication to playing a sport, or a musical instrument.

There’s a lot of frightening information on the internet about video gaming addiction, or ‘Gaming Disorder’. At its worst, an excessive focus on gaming to the exclusion of other interests could have a lot in common with gambling addiction, although you wouldn’t expect the financial harms associated with gambling.

So look out for signs that excessive gaming could represent other underlying difficulties, maybe with relationships at school, or with mood and anxiety symptoms that would benefit for support or treatment. 

In terms of offering practical guidance, there’s no rule about how much gaming time is too much, but trying to negotiate clear expectations and boundaries about where gaming time can fit in with other activities could be helpful (e.g. homework first, spend time with family, and finish gaming in time to go to bed without feeling over alert, or exhausted the next day. Overall, communication is key. Find a good time to air your concerns and discuss it together. They are growing into adulthood and so help them to find a balance. It is also a chance to talk about their online experience and ensure they aren’t having distressing experiences. Let them do the talking. Share the problem and agree how you will both approach it. They will appreciate you engaging with them rather than imposing your will on them.